Diamond Dust Novel - Chapter 21

“Did you two progress into a relationship where you contact each other in that short amount of time?”

He said, stubbing out his cigarette that had burned down to the filter into the ashtray. There was no hint of sarcasm.

“No… Not really, not like that… We just exchanged phone numbers earlier today…”

“Seeing as you said you’re gay, I guess you aren’t completely uninterested in Choi Inwoo either, Seo Yihyun?”

Since my declaration of being gay was a lie, or at least an unverified impulsive remark, I had no idea how to answer that.

Fiddling with the sports drink bottle, he opened the cap and took another sip.

“You don’t have much dating experience, do you?”

“…….”

It was a relief that he didn’t bring up the paintings anymore, but my dating life wasn’t exactly a comfortable topic either.

Sitting loosely with his legs crossed and leaning back against the chair as if drooping, he tapped the table with the drink bottle and looked across at me. From what I had observed so far, his posture wasn’t particularly upright.

“Choi Inwoo isn’t a bad guy as a friend, but I can’t say he’s a good guy as a man.”

Did he ever have enough favorable feelings toward me to worry that I might fall prey to a bad guy? Having that thought, I blankly stared at his eyes, which were still just fascinating to me, someone used to black eyes.

Perhaps interpreting my lack of a clear response as a failure to recognize the seriousness of the situation, he leaned his upper body forward toward the table, adopting a more serious expression.

“I’m saying he’s not at a level a novice like you can handle, Seo Yihyun. Looking at you, it seems like you’d value slowly getting to know each other and emotionally connecting… but his kind of dating is far from that.”

“What about you, CEO?”

“…….”

Even though he was talking with someone sitting right in front of him, he furrowed his brows as if he hadn’t expected me to react to his words at all.

Whether it was the power of alcohol or my own way of ‘squirming’ by acting somewhat petulant specifically toward him, regardless, I was throwing out a question that even I thought was bold.

“Then, are you a good guy as a man, CEO?”

He dropped his gaze to the table and chuckled. Then, he lit a new cigarette. Exhaling a long drag of smoke, he spoke.

“Is there even… such a thing as a good man? I’ve never seen one.”

It carried the nuance of someone who had suffered terribly at the hands of a bad man. Or perhaps he was defining himself as the absolute worst kind of bad guy.

However, I couldn’t ask for the detailed reason. The very next moment, the self-deprecating smile was already wiped from his face.

“I’m saying this because you met Choi Inwoo while working at Phantom, so I feel something akin to a sense of responsibility. Don’t take every single word that bastard says to heart. Well… if you’re drawn to him anyway, I can’t say anything about that, though.”

If he was saying it in that sense, then just as he said, it was merely ‘something akin to’ responsibility. He had no intention of actively stopping me, but it was a flimsy shield set up in advance to lessen the discomfort of a tragedy occurring because of him in case things got complicatedly twisted.

As if he had said all he needed to say on that matter, he pushed up the hair that had fallen over his forehead with the back of his left hand holding the cigarette and changed the subject.

“I’d like you to officially come to work at Phantom. Recently, the number of affiliated artists has grown, and the frequency and scale of exhibitions have increased, so the staff were already struggling quite a bit. I knew we needed to increase the number of employees, but… I’m a bit picky about people, so I made it hard on them. I would like you to come work for us, Seo Yihyun. That’s why I came up today, to talk about this. I’ll convey the details through Manager Han.”

Saying so in a rapid tone, as if he would brush off his seat and get up the moment he finished this story, he continued smoking even after he was done talking.

Perhaps due to the alcohol, my brain was spinning slowly.

Because I didn’t know he would want to hire me as an employee. No, somewhere deep in my subconscious, I might have guessed that it would eventually end up like this.

I didn’t know what was what. Wiping away the condensation that had formed on the surface of the cup due to the temperature difference between the inside and outside with my finger, I asked him.

“May I ask… why you suddenly changed your mind?”

“I decided based on seeing your work attitude and results, Seo Yihyun; I didn’t really change my mind. Manager Han and the staff want you, too.”

“It’s not… because you found out I’m not an Omega?”

My slower-than-usual brain seemed to have completely lost its sense of direction. I was able to spit out such a question carelessly, just as it came to mind, without much hesitation. Considering that I usually picked my words more than necessary, it was quite a bold question for me.

Was he suddenly making this offer because he thought there was little room for me to cause trouble since I wasn’t an Omega? Then why did his discriminative ability, which could supposedly identify Omegas so accurately in the first place, malfunction when it came to me?

Remaining silent for a moment at my question, which could sound impudent depending on one’s perspective, he rapidly took two or three drags from his cigarette in quick succession.

“Speaking of which, are you really not an Omega?”

Perhaps due to the lighting intensely casting down from above my head and the cigarette caught between his fingers, I felt like I was being interrogated by a detective.

“Yes, in the test during middle school and the physical examination before enlisting, I received a 100 percent definite Beta diagnosis.”

“Then what is it?”

What did he mean, ‘what is it’. Muttering as if asking himself while keeping his gaze fixed on me, he still seemed unable to accept the fact that I was a Beta—no, more accurately, the fact that I wasn’t an Omega.

“I told you I’m a Beta.”

“Are you really a Beta? Unless you’re a Golden Omega or your family has some money, honestly, it’s not an advantageous world to live in as a male Omega. So if you’re pretending to be a Beta for no reason… you don’t have to.”

A breeze blew in from the open kitchen window. Mixed within the cigarette smoke spreading with the wind was an unfamiliar scent, likely his perfume.

As if he didn’t even realize the ember at the end of the cigarette had burned down almost touching the filter, he stared at me without a thought to put it out. He looked like someone hoping I would make a false confession, claiming I was actually an Omega.

Under his narrowed eyelids, his grayish-blue eyes slowly alternated between staring at my left eye and my right eye.

My body kept going slack due to the alcohol. No, it was a bit different from going slack. The mushy feeling, as if the joints all over my body had loosened, was real, but it felt like I was floating and drifting in the air in that state.

It felt like I was languid enough to want to lie down immediately, yet it also felt like my mood was elevated enough to want to take out more alcohol and drink. I guess I really wasn’t in a normal state right now.

After drinking some water to collect my senses a bit, I bit my lower lip once and released it before opening my mouth. I wanted him to give up on this issue now.

“No, I am a Beta. Even if I were an Omega… I wouldn’t hide it for the reasons you mentioned.”

Even after that, he didn’t withdraw his gaze fixed on me for quite a while. With the sensation of my body lifting as if floating on waves, it became increasingly difficult to sit still.

Finally, when he stubbed out his cigarette and the acrid smoke dissipated, the influence of the perfume grew even stronger. It was a scent so intense that it was strange I hadn’t noticed it while being so close in the bar and in the backseat of the car.

Fragrant, or unpleasant. It was a scent like a complex formula, difficult to categorize by such simple preferences.

If I were to smell this scent from someone while walking down the street, I felt like I would turn back to look at them just because of the distinctiveness of the scent. A scent that strangely provoked the nerves and pulled you in.

“Hah… What am I doing…”

He said so, shaking his head self-deprecatingly. I couldn’t tell what he was blaming himself for. Perhaps scattered by the wind blowing in through the window, his scent hovering under my nose grew distant.

Stubbing out his cigarette and taking his half-finished sports drink, he got up from his seat. Telling me to consult Manager Han if I had any questions about working formally, and that as I probably knew, he would faithfully help me out. Leaving behind that business-like line, he disappeared beyond the front door.

Perhaps due to the intoxication, a strong sexual desire arose. It was an age where it was natural to feel sexual desire several times a day, but for me, it was an extremely rare occurrence.

While taking a shower, I stroked my erection under the stream of water. It wasn’t my usual mechanical masturbation, where I simply achieved an erection through friction and pressure before reaching ejaculation.

Amidst the rushing sexual pleasure that made the skin all over my body tingle, I couldn’t support my trembling legs and had to lean against the tiled wall as if collapsing. At a level of desire I was experiencing for the first time, a fierce surge of lust that transcended both my personality and experiences to swallow me whole, I even felt fear.

Spilling messy moans, I felt unfamiliar with myself, not knowing what to do as I gripped my member, which showed no signs of subsiding even after ejaculating once.

Excessive drinking wasn’t good for one’s health, but the risk of being exposed to sudden sexual desire was high.

Even though it was a more intense act than ever before, when I collapsed onto the bed in a state of sheer exhaustion, the thirst was greater than the relief. Twisting the sheets in my grip and lightly striking them, I cursed out loud for the first time in years.