Passion Raga Novel - Chapter 85

Yuri lightly kissed his cheek as a greeting and then turned to dry himself with a towel. Just then, Ling Xinlu, who had been silently observing him, suddenly spoke.

“How about Gable?”

“Huh?”

“When I wasn’t here, were you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, well… it was normal. I swam a bit, read books, and the day just passed like that.”

Seeing his unhappy face, Yuri replied with a slight surprise. After all, it was just a day alone at home, nothing special. But… no matter what, his face was really not okay at all…

“Is that so. It seems you had a quite comfortable day.”

“Yes, I rested very well. But Xinlu, is there really nothing wrong…”

Just as Yuri was about to ask further, Ling Xinlu’s face grew gloomier. Finally, he suddenly exploded as if he couldn’t bear it any longer.

“But why didn’t you text me at all?!”

Yuri was stunned by this unexpected reproach. To the point that for a moment he didn’t even understand what ‘text’ meant.

“Huh…? Text…? I did text, before going to bed…”

“What does sending only a ‘Good night’ message count for? I texted back ‘Good night, I miss you,’ and you only replied ‘Okay, good night, see you tomorrow,’ and that was it! Don’t you miss me?!”

The words were like a sudden lightning bolt striking a clear sky.

Yuri hadn’t even fully understood what was happening when Ling Xinlu, after one outburst, couldn’t stop. He poured out all the grievances in his heart, his tone full of hurt.

“Whenever we’re not together, I’m always the one who texts first! I always want to be with you, but don’t you feel anything? It was the same yesterday! Not just a few hours, not just half a day, but all day long! I tried to hold back and wait to see when you would text me. But in the end…”

He spoke almost on the verge of tears. No, his reddish eyes were already glistening with tears.

Yuri became more and more confused.

“It’s not like that, I was afraid of disturbing you, because you were having fun with your friends…”

“Friends? Do you think they’re my friends? They’re just social connections for benefit! Have you ever heard me mention any of their names?”

“Then why did you go—”

“Because I wanted you to miss me! I wanted to receive messages from you! But you didn’t even send one… don’t you miss me? I checked my phone every minute, yet you could just casually forget like that?!”

“It’s not like that… I’m sorry. I really thought you were having fun with your friends and didn’t want you to worry about me…”

“……”

“How could I not worry? Do you want me not to care about you? Do you hate me caring about you? Is that why you always text me so little? When we’re not together, aren’t you even curious what I’m doing?!”

Never had Yuri broken out in such a cold sweat in his life. Seeing the silent tears fall squeezed his heart.

At this moment, an image of Ling Xinlu occasionally pouting and saying casually, “When we’re apart, aren’t you curious what I’m doing?” or “Gable rarely texts me first,” flashed through Yuri’s mind.

Such instances… it seemed… were not few.

In truth, the two rarely had to be apart. On the rare occasions they were separated, Yuri often received calls from him, but Yuri had never thought much about it.

He had always held the belief that even as lovers, they should respect each other’s independence. Therefore, he had never felt the need to text every day. But when he saw that beautiful face drenched in tears, he suddenly felt as if he had been living incorrectly all these years.

Guilt surged.

Reflecting, it seemed he had never initiated a text to Ling Xinlu unless there was a special reason. More than 99% of unprompted contacts were from him. Perhaps he had endured this for a long time.

“Not to mention… yesterday… was the sixth anniversary of Gable’s first contract signing…”

“It was the day marking six years since we became legally bound. Don’t you remember…?”

Ling Xinlu choked out, his eyes moist.

“…I’m sorry… From now on, I’ll try to text more often.”

No one could resist the tears of a beauty.

After realizing his mistake, Yuri began to try to initiate texts to Ling Xinlu.

But a lifelong habit is not easy to change, and moreover, the two rarely separated, so Yuri often forgot. And since that outburst, Ling Xinlu no longer held back for as long as before.

As soon as he didn’t receive a message from Yuri for a day, he would immediately “retaliate” at night by clinging to him to make up for his hurt feelings.

Finally, Yuri resorted to a more practical solution: setting an alarm to remind himself to text.

“You need an alarm to remember to text me?”

Ling Xinlu pouted slightly, but sensing Yuri’s effort, he didn’t complain further.

And whether it was due to the alarm or genuine remembrance, whenever Yuri texted, Ling Xinlu always happily received it with a radiant smile.

Every time he answered the phone and called out ‘Gable’, his voice was always full of eagerness and joy, making Yuri feel both guilty for not having contacted him more often and happy. Why hadn’t he heard this lovely voice more often? What a pity.

Now, even without the alarm ringing, he often thought of Ling Xinlu. Perhaps soon he would form the habit of automatically contacting him without needing an alarm reminder.

Should I change a little?

Until now, Yuri had never thought that he needed to change for someone. He could care more, adjust his actions a bit, but he had never thought that his inherent personality could change.

However…

Yuri raised his glass, looking at Ling Xinlu sitting beside him.

Ling Xinlu was leaning deep into the chair, his eyes quietly following the light reflecting on the glass. He looked as if he wasn’t thinking at all, or conversely, was lost in deep contemplation. Suddenly, he glanced towards Yuri as if to probe something, and their eyes met.

Ling Xinlu blinked a few times, looking at him, then cleared his throat slightly and leaned forward.

“Um… today… the weather’s nice, isn’t it?”

His roundabout tone was unlike him, making Yuri unable to help but laugh.

“Yes. The moon is beautiful tonight.”

Seemingly pleased with the answer, Ling Xinlu smiled faintly, tilted his head further, and gently placed a kiss on Yuri’s lips. He brushed his lips little by little like a small bird pecking, then suddenly whispered timidly as if probing.

“Is there anything bothering you?”

Here, Yuri had to pause to think about how he should answer.

Ling Xinlu was sometimes extremely difficult to please. Especially at times like this, when no matter how he answered, there was no single absolutely correct answer.

Yuri inviting Jeong Taeui, or more precisely Kyle, to his house was not his intention at all.

While exchanging phone calls with Kyle about an issue related to a former colleague, they accidentally started talking about antique books, and somehow, the conversation led to him inviting Kyle to his house.

Yuri was not usually lacking in perceptiveness, so ordinarily, he would have avoided this situation. But Kyle, though outwardly appearing like a friendly, approachable neighborhood man, was actually incredibly cunning and sly. He had a knack for steering conversations in his desired direction without the other party even realizing it. By the time Yuri became aware, inviting this person to his house was already a done deal.

Inviting Kyle to his house wasn’t a big problem.

Ling Xinlu didn’t exactly like having outsiders in the house; on the contrary, he quite enjoyed entertaining Yuri’s friends.

Whenever someone from abroad visited Yuri, he would stick close to him, putting on an expression as if to say: ‘This is truly the most ideal and generous husband in the world.’

Even if it was a family member of someone he hated to the bone, as long as he didn’t have to directly confront them, showing them a few books wasn’t a big deal.

The problem was that precisely because of this, Kyle inadvertently became a guest at Ling Huolong’s party, bringing Jeong Taeui as his escort.

“Hmm… today I looked through the guest list for Father’s birthday party, and I saw Kyle Riegrow will be with Taei-hyung.”

One evening, just a few days before Ling Huolong’s party, Ling Xinlu suddenly spoke up while relaxing with a hot towel over his eyes.

Since that afternoon, he had seemed uncomfortable, making Yuri wonder what had happened. But when he heard Ling Xinlu say this with an air of confessing something important, though trying to appear calm, Yuri suddenly understood: Ah, so this was it.

“Hmm, I heard that too.”

“You knew already?”

Ling Xinlu removed the towel from his eyes and stared at Yuri.

“Yes, Kyle sent another email earlier, reminding me about the books, and also informed me that he would be coming with Jeong Taeui.”

Hearing this, Ling Xinlu frowned, sat up abruptly, looked at him intently, and then sighed.

He handed the towel to the attendant, telling them to leave. The attendant seemed confused, but since the task was almost done, they said nothing more and left the room. Ling Xinlu sat upright in front of Yuri, hesitated for a moment, then spoke.

“Do you want to come to my father’s birthday party?”

“Me?… Hmm, if it’s not absolutely necessary, I’d prefer to stay home.”

Hearing his answer, Ling Xinlu was silent for a long time, then, as if having made a decision, he spoke.

“I had no idea Taei-hyung would be at Father’s party. I also don’t want to meet him there, but there will probably be too many people, so there won’t be time to talk. If we run into each other, I’ll just say hello. I won’t deliberately seek him out; it’s just if we happen to cross paths, we’ll deal with it then.”

His tone was unclear, whether he was explaining himself or talking to himself. Yuri quietly watched him, trying to understand the current situation.

“Ah… It’s fine. You two haven’t seen each other in a long time, just be comfortable.”

Ling Xinlu looked at him strangely, then frowned, asking cautiously.

“Are you sure you’re not bothered? Because I’ll be meeting Taei-hyung without you there?”

“Huh? How could I be? I don’t mind at all.”

A question beyond imagination. Yuri had never thought about that. He truly didn’t care, nor did he think Ling Xinlu needed to care. So he just smiled and shook his head.

At that moment, he didn’t know that he should have answered differently. Ling Xinlu silently watched Yuri, then suddenly withdrew all emotion from his face.

He whispered as if to himself.

“Ah… You really don’t mind.”

“Yes, so just talk freely.”

The atmosphere became silent.

Yuri didn’t have time to think deeply about the meaning of that silence. He was still worried about whether meeting Jeong Taeui would stir up unpleasant past memories for Ling Xinlu, making him sad or hurt.

“It’s good that you’re not bothered or uneasy at all.”

“Yes?”

His voice suddenly turned cold, making Yuri look up. Ling Xinlu’s dark eyes gleamed with an unusual sharpness.

“It’s good that you don’t feel sad or uneasy. That’s really good.”

The cautious tone from before had vanished, leaving only a sharp, sarcastic edge that echoed coldly in his ears.

“You don’t see any problem with me meeting Taei-hyung again? …Your lover meeting someone who once stirred his heart, and you truly don’t care at all? Completely unbothered?”

Yuri froze, seeing Ling Xinlu’s face clearly showing hurt.

What kind of sudden change was this? It wasn’t like red bean porridge in summer; why say two different things within ten seconds?

His mind felt like it was spinning, but fortunately, this time Yuri quickly composed himself and replied:

“Because I trust you. I trust the affection and reliance you’ve shown me all this time.”

Ling Xinlu paused. Yuri secretly breathed a sigh of relief at his quick response. A perfect, flawless answer.

However…

It didn’t work.

“I know. I know that, but still, you could care a little, couldn’t you? A little jealousy is fine, isn’t it? No, it’s not that I want you to actually feel uncomfortable or angry or hurt, and there’s nothing worth making you feel that way, but… at least you could hold me a little tighter.”

Ling Xinlu complained irritably. But as soon as he finished speaking, perhaps he realized he was pouting unreasonably like a child, because his scowling face immediately flushed crimson. He abruptly stood up and left the room. Yuri was left behind, stunned for a moment before rushing after him, but Ling Xinlu had already darted into the study, locking the door and refusing to come out.

“Don’t come in here now. I’m so embarrassed.”

He left such a resentful remark and then confined himself to the study, leaving Yuri with no choice but to quietly turn and leave.

That night, it wasn’t until late, when Yuri was sound asleep, that Ling Xinlu returned to the bedroom. The next morning, he acted as if nothing had happened.

“I was unreasonably clingy yesterday, I’m sorry.”

He only said one sentence with his usual gentle expression and immediately changed the subject. Yuri wanted to continue the conversation, but seeing him try to act normal while still feeling awkward inside, he kept his mouth shut.