Passion Raga Novel - Complete - Chapter 84

He looked at Gable, who was also intently observing Ling Xinlu with the same admiring gaze. Their eyes accidentally met, and Gable merely gave a forced smile and turned away.

Clearly, Ling Xinlu not only had a glamorous appearance, but surely concealed another side within.

“So, today you must have reunited with Gable after a long time. Did you two have a good conversation?”

Only after finishing the polite greetings sufficiently did Ling Xinlu look around and speak. At that moment, Kyle had temporarily stopped reading, even though there were only a few pages left in the book, regretfully looking at the open book in front of him.

“Ah, yes, we had a very good talk and also borrowed books to read. Your father truly owns invaluable books. I’m really envious. Haven’t finished reading them all yet…”

Kyle looked at the book, with about half a volume left, with longing eyes. Ling Xinlu quickly noticed and gestured freely with his hand.

“Feel free to finish reading it.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Kyle immediately grinned widely, happily burying his face in the book as if he had been waiting for that very sentence. Meanwhile, Ling Xinlu’s gaze turned towards Jeong Taeui. And only then did a slight change appear on his face, which had previously been like a smiling mask. A somewhat more human emotion flashed, but it was unreadable, leaving Jeong Taeui secretly bewildered.

If it were goodwill, lingering affection, or hatred, it could be understood, but that emotion was like being on some boundary between hesitation, wariness, and unease… But why?

“Um… What… did you two talk about?”

Ling Xinlu, who had previously shown no slightest crack, now hesitated a little, his voice much softer.

Jeong Taeui unconsciously looked at Gable. Their eyes met, also full of bewilderment.

He didn’t know if Ling Xinlu’s gentle tone made them feel safe enough to tell the truth, or if, contrary to his voice, his eyes were scrutinizing their every expression to the point where they couldn’t escape, but for no reason, both suddenly felt as if they had secretly discussed something.

They hadn’t said anything special, had they…?

There was really nothing worth mentioning, but that staring gaze made them unconsciously feel guilty. Strange, why did it feel like they were being suspected?

“Just small talk, getting to know each other better, and getting acquainted.”

Jeong Taeui scratched his head and murmured. Ling Xinlu heard him and only said, “Ah, I see,” and nodded, then coldly cut him off:

“Don’t do that, hyung.”

“Huh??”

Ling Xinlu smiled faintly, but that smile was incredibly resolute.

“Don’t get close to each other. You are both good people, to the point where it wouldn’t be strange if one of you fell for the other. So don’t get close.”

The words were like a compliment to both, the tone like a joke, but his eyes carried no hint of joking or compliment at all.

Jeong Taeui stammered, vaguely replying, trying to figure out what kind of situation this was, while Ling Xinlu maintained his bright smile and continued to ask:

“So? What kind of small talk did you two have?”

“What do you think we talked about?”

Just then, Gable gently spoke, asking back. Ling Xinlu paused for a moment, his smile also disappearing as he glanced at Gable.

“Well… there probably aren’t many common topics between you two. If it’s about Gable’s personal life, then… you must have mentioned me…”

Ling Xinlu murmured as if probing, then suddenly changed his attitude, his eyes sharpening.

“Wait, didn’t you just say something about not saying anything when I’m present?”

This time it was Gable’s turn to freeze. Ling Xinlu didn’t miss the opportunity.

“It seems you two were discussing something I shouldn’t hear???”

“It’s nothing difficult to talk about.”

“Then what is it???”

“….”

Instead of answering, Gable picked up the largest cookie and shoved it whole into his mouth. Ling Xinlu narrowed his eyes at Gable, who was quietly chewing, then suddenly turned to Jeong Taeui, pressing him.

“Ah… No, really, it’s nothing. It’s just that we haven’t seen each other in a long time, so I said he looks well, still the same, seems to be living well… something like that.”

“Hmm…?”

Jeong Taeui didn’t understand what was happening but tried to avoid both their gazes and spoke vaguely.

Ling Xinlu seemed to be thinking something, glancing at Gable, then at Jeong Taeui, and when he turned back to Gable again, he seemed to have partly guessed the story. His bright face became expressionless.

“That’s right. Gable really hasn’t changed at all. Compared to the first time I met him, there’s no difference. He even looks younger.”

As he spoke, he scrutinized every feature on Gable’s face. His eyes, sharp as knives, were almost staring, and his tone made no attempt to hide his displeasure.

“People should change with age, why does he keep…”

“He’ll age in the blink of an eye someday.”

Without waiting for him to finish, Gable bluntly cut him off.

“Really. At some point, you’ll age in an instant.”

Seeing Gable emphasize this like a vow, Ling Xinlu pursed his lips in dissatisfaction, then turned to Jeong Taeui.

“How about you? Are you doing well these days? I heard you almost died because of that guy.”

Jeong Taeui, who was wondering if looking young for a long time was a good thing, immediately sobered up at the sudden attacking question.

“Oh, which incident? Almost dying in Thessaloniki last summer? Or in Gdansk the winter before that? Or the near-death incident in Casablanca? Or before that? Aside from those, I’m doing very well.”

“……”

Ling Xinlu looked at Jeong Taeui with disbelief, then burst out laughing. The sharpness from before had softened a bit.

“No regrets? For example… if you hadn’t chosen that guy back then…”

Ling Xinlu’s eyes slightly narrowed as if asking if he had never thought about that even once.

It was that moment, when he turned his back on Ling Xinlu’s anger to take Ilay’s hand.

What if he hadn’t done that then.

Looking into the pitch-black eyes that still held deep hatred for that person, Jeong Taeui suddenly felt heavy all over, sighing and letting his shoulders slump.

“Well… many times I’ve wondered why I’m suffering like this… but… I’ve never thought it would be better if I hadn’t met him or if I had made a different choice.”

“Hmm.”

He couldn’t be vague or lie. Jeong Taeui had an obligation to tell Ling Xinlu the truth. He massaged his shoulders, lost in thought for a moment, then looked up directly at Ling Xinlu.

“But sometimes I still think of you, hoping you’re doing well. How about you? If you had kept me with you back then, if you had lived a different life than now, what do you think it would be like?”

Ling Xinlu’s expression suddenly stiffened, his face seemed to be wiped clean of emotion. He froze in place as if paralyzed, without the slightest movement. His face twitched slightly, very subtly, very little.

Things he might have had and the price he would surely have to pay.

“…Don’t like it.”

The words escaped his lips before he could even think.

“I like my current life. I like what I have. No matter what, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

His eyes immediately flared with a fierce, pitch-black flame. Ling Xinlu unconsciously gripped Gable’s arm and stared at Jeong Taeui, or perhaps at another possibility of the life he could have had. A cold wariness and terrifying anger swept through the room, freezing everything for a moment.

But that tension melted like snow when Ling Xinlu unconsciously met Gable’s eyes, who was still quietly watching him. He looked back at Gable, then suddenly leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. The light, repeated touches of his lips were like teasing, followed by a gentle smile.

Ling Xinlu leaned back comfortably into the sofa, calmly looking at Jeong Taeui.

“There are still many things that annoy me now. There are countless people I want to remove from my life. But even so, I still like what I have. A life with all the most important things for me.”

His face when he spoke those words was completely sincere, without any pretense.

“I used to wish I had you by my side. I still think you’re a very good person. And even though it bothers me that that crazy guy is happily enjoying life with you, but… I’m still grateful you left.”

The faint smile was like a joke but filled with sincerity. Looking at that frankness, Jeong Taeui’s expression became unreadable. In other words, this also meant—Thank you for disappearing from my life.

“…Oh, okay.”

Accepting that thank you with a somewhat arrogant attitude, Jeong Taeui finally couldn’t help but laugh.

Relief surged like a tide filling his chest. The faint shadow, like a lingering sense of guilt within him, was finally washed away. So that’s how it was; without him, Ling Xinlu could be happier, just like Jeong Taeui himself.

The rustling of leaves in the wind suddenly became clearer in his ears. And the chirping of insects in the gaps. Yuri pulled the chair next to the garden table to the edge of the pool and sat down. When he stretched out his legs, his toes just touched the water.

The garden lights reflected on the water’s surface. Yuri gently wiggled his toes, creating ripples, and the light also fractured, flickering with the rippling water. He closed his eyes, enjoying the faint sound of lapping water and the cool sensation gliding across his skin, then leaned back in the chair to relax. It felt like a long day had finally come to an end.

At this moment, Ling Xinlu came out of the house, holding two warmed plum wines. He handed one glass to Yuri, then pulled a chair and sat right next to him.

“Why are you just touching the water with your feet and not getting in completely?”

“Waiting for you to come in with me.”

Ling Xinlu was about to bring the glass to his lips but paused. He looked at Yuri with a slight surprise, then unconsciously chuckled like a young boy experiencing his first confession.

Yuri found him lowering his eyes, embarrassed, and also very adorable. It was precisely because he wanted to see this face that he had suppressed his desire to jump into the water until now.

Lately, because he had to arrange everything for the reception, and also because he hadn’t been able to get into the water yesterday, his mood had been restless. He just wanted to immediately immerse himself in the water and wash away all his worries, but he still tried to hold back.

Ling Xinlu liked to get into the water with Yuri, especially when the pool had just been refilled with fresh water; he always wanted them to go in together.

“Let’s go in after we finish drinking. This new batch smells very good, so I brought it for you to try.”

Ling Xinlu always brought Yuri special things that he thought were the best. The wine he offered emitted a gentle fragrance, sliding smoothly down his throat.

“It’s not good to get into the water after drinking.”

Yuri said that, but still couldn’t resist taking a few sips in a row, drawn in by the aroma of the wine. The wine tasted much sweeter today. Perhaps it was good wine, or perhaps he had been too tired these past few days.

Basically, Ling Xinlu was a wonderful lover. Meticulous, thoughtful, and wholeheartedly cherished the person he loved. Yuri was the same; he always loved with all his heart. However, sometimes—no, quite often—Yuri still felt confused by the differences in their personalities.

For example, last year was also like that.

At the end of last year, Ling Xinlu had an overnight trip to a suburban villa with his university friends. They weren’t just student friends, but also a social club consisting of only a few children from the upper class, so it was an important occasion to maintain relationships.

While Ling Xinlu hesitated, asking if he could go alone, Yuri told him not to worry and to enjoy himself, even limiting contact to avoid disturbing him. Yuri stayed home alone, leisurely swimming and enjoying a quiet day.

The problem only arose when Ling Xinlu returned the next day, just as Yuri was swimming. When he lifted his head out of the water, he was surprised to find Ling Xinlu standing still in front of him, silently looking down at him. Yuri happily got out of the pool and intended to approach, but as he got closer, he noticed that his face looked very bad and he paused.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Ling Xinlu quietly looked at him intently with a gloomy face, then slowly shook his head.

“…No. Nothing happened. Maybe just a little tired…”

“Is that so? Perhaps it’s because you’ve been playing with friends you haven’t seen in a long time. You should rest early today.”