Passion Novel - Chapter 97

“What you imagine in your head and what you say out loud are very different matters. Imagination can turn into reality.”

This time, Jeong Taeui fell silent. Not foolish enough to misunderstand his uncle’s warning, he sat on the floor, silently staring at his feet, then let out another long, silent sigh.

It was truly a terrible feeling. This was the first time he felt so foolish. Jeong Taeui had, without realizing it, become a clown, dancing and singing in a place unknown to himself.

“What about hyung?”

Jeong Taeui asked abruptly. But his uncle, who seemed to know everything, slowly shook his head.

“I don’t know. I’ve searched everywhere, but I haven’t found a single clue yet.”

Jeong Taeui buried his face in his knees. His exhausted, limp body couldn’t move. It felt like he could turn into a fossil right there and it wouldn’t be strange.

What a ridiculous sight. Jeong Taeui thought to himself, mocking himself. He wasn’t particularly more moral or conscientious than others. He wasn’t a dreamy, naive young man who saw the world so purely. Whenever he heard about some corruption breaking out somewhere in the world, he would just pass it off as ‘that’s how people live.’ Perhaps even now, if he weren’t so exhausted, he might have gotten angry or scolded someone, then turned his head away, pretending not to know.

But now he was so exhausted that he felt like he would collapse if someone just blew a breath on him. The very fact of his presence here weighed him down like hundreds of tons of iron. And there was no need to mention that he was directly or indirectly involved in the system of this place.

“Even if Jaeui had been with you when I went to your house, I would have brought you instead of Jae-ui. From the beginning, I thought you were the one to ask for help, and I went to get you.”

Clack, the sound of shoes took a step closer. Another step closer.

“You certainly have skill, and you’re smart. Even if your surroundings operate independently of your efforts, that’s not your fault. At least in this environment, you were outstanding enough to be in this environment.”

“Uncle… that’s sophistry.”

Jeong Taeui said with a weak laugh. If his being in this situation was due to his personality or some trivial, perhaps non-existent talent, rather than his bad luck, then he was happy to discard such things. Jeong Taeui lifted his head from his knees. His uncle stood a couple of steps away, looking down at him. He would never apologize or make excuses to him.

“Uncle. I’m going back now.”

Jeong Taeui said. His uncle thought for a moment, then placed a hand on his knee and bent down. His uncle’s face approached Jeong Taeui’s head, as if checking on a small child.

“You could rise to any position you want here, too.” 

“Thank you for thinking so highly of me, Uncle. But I don’t want any position here.”

Jeong Taeui let out a small laugh.

A desired position, huh. How high could he go? An instructor position like that crazy guy who gets away with hitting people, or this sly uncle in front of him? A vice-director position, caught up in power struggles and factions? Or a Director General, wearing a respectable facade while contributing to killings happening somewhere in the world?

There was no position for Jeong Taeui to climb to anywhere.

“I’m tired.” 

“……” 

“I want to go home and sleep for about a week without thinking about anything. The bed here is so uncomfortable that I can’t get a deep sleep.”

Jeong Taeui muttered bitterly. His uncle gazed at him, weakly angry. Then, suddenly, playfully, as if joking, he spoke the truth.

“For a while, your home won’t be a very comfortable place to sleep either. Unwanted guests might come and go. This time, it won’t be Jaeui they’re looking for, but you, Taeui.” 

“What is that…?”

Jeong Taeui murmured earnestly, burying his face in his knees again. Yes, that might be true. No, his uncle’s words had never been wrong, so it was probably true nine times out of ten. Anyway, Jeong Taeui was involved in the unfortunate incident of the vice-director. There was no telling who might come looking for him, or for what purpose.

His peaceful home was gone. His heart had already left this place. So where should he go? He had nowhere to go.

“I’ve become homeless in an instant… Uncle, that’s too much.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled with his face still buried in his knees. He didn’t know if his uncle heard him properly. His uncle remained silent, looking at Jeong Taeui for a long time.

“……Taeui. When you first came here, we agreed on half a year, didn’t we?” 

“There’s not much time left anyway.”

Jeong Taeui replied sulkily, perhaps fearing that he would be told to complete the half-year. Even if he were told to complete the half-year, Jeong Taeui intended to leave. He didn’t want to be here anymore. His promise with his uncle couldn’t bind him.

“Then for the remaining period, work for me somewhere else, not here.”

His uncle’s serious voice fell from above. Jeong Taeui was silent for a moment, giving no answer.

How long had it been like that? Quite some time had passed, but his uncle patiently waited for Jeong Taeui’s answer. Eventually, Jeong Taeui slowly raised his head, then whispered like a sigh, looking at his uncle with tired eyes.

“Uncle. …You’re really shameless.”

His uncle laughed. Seeing his uncle’s eyes soften for the first time today, Jeong Taeui sighed.

“Uncle. I have no idea where hyung is. How can I find someone that even all the information networks everywhere couldn’t locate?”

When Jeong Taeui spoke, his uncle subtly raised an eyebrow. Then he burst out laughing. As if he had been unexpectedly hit, his uncle let out a low laugh, and without stopping, he stroked Jeong Taeui’s head. His nephew was even more intelligent and intuitive than his uncle had thought. He knew how to pinpoint the core with surprising accuracy, even with only a few clues.

“I don’t expect results. The process is enough. Until the given time runs out, you can remain as a special member of UNHRDO, and of course, you can claim all expenses incurred. Even money thrown to a passing beggar. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

His uncle gently cupped Jeong Taeui’s cheek with his palm and stroked it, as if talking to a very young nephew, just as he had done when Jeong Taeui was very young. Jeong Taeui looked at his uncle obediently, like a child.

“One or two months. That should be enough for things to settle internally. Those who are to be demoted will be demoted, those who are to be transferred will be transferred, and that much will be enough to silence others. After that, go back home. I’ll visit occasionally, even if not as often as now.”

“You haven’t visited once in three years since Dad passed away, so what do you mean ‘occasionally, even if not as often as now’?”

Jeong Taeui, even in his exhausted state, didn’t let go of the part of his uncle’s words that bothered him. His uncle’s low laughter brushed past his ears.

Jeong Taeui quietly tilted his head, his uncle’s hand still on his cheek. All the strength had drained from his body, and he wanted to collapse and sleep right there. If he closed his eyes, he felt like he wouldn’t wake up for a hundred years.

“Alright. Let’s do that. Two months. I don’t think I can find hyung, but I’ll look for him. I want to see him too now.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled in a quiet, sleep-drunk voice. His uncle listened silently to that voice, which might have been hard to understand. Jeong Taeui was silent for a moment, then continued.

“But I don’t need the identity of a UNHRDO special member. The identity of Jeong Taeui would also be dangerous. Give me a new name. An identity no one knows, no one suspects—one that actually exists in this world. …Give me a name even Uncle can’t know.”

So that nothing of the traces he left here would remain. Leaving no clues to find the human named Jeong Taeui. With a new name that no one knew—not even his uncle could find out.

His uncle gazed at Jeong Taeui. His hand, which had been resting on his cheek, began to move again. The calm, generous strokes on his head felt pleasant.

“Alright. Let’s do that. I’ll create an identity for you with the name you want, the nationality you want, age, and personal details. Then, I’ll put that record in an envelope without looking at it and burn it. …But I’d be a little sad if you, too, disappeared without a trace like Jaeui.”

“I’ll contact you sometimes. Anyway, it’s under the pretext of finding hyung, so I have to report on the progress.”

Jeong Taeui chuckled and muttered. His uncle stroked him for a while longer, then slowly nodded.

“Alright. Then shall we get up now? It’s time to start the day again.”

Jeong Taeui took his uncle’s hand, which was offered as he stepped back. And he got up from where he had slumped. He felt like he would never be able to get up from there, but at any rate, he had to get up and walk now. If he just sat there, he would have to stay there forever.

Following a couple of steps behind his uncle, Jeong Taeui looked at the elevator standing in the distance. When that elevator went up and its doors opened again, that place would be outside. The outside, no longer the UNHRDO branch, was waiting beyond that door. Everything was tiresome now, and he was exhausted. Everything that bound the human named Jeong Taeui was too heavy. Now, he was ready to shed them and leave. He would leave and never return.

His uncle said that with time, he would be able to go back home. But Jeong Taeui had no attachment to that place. Even if he could never return there, it didn’t matter to his exhausted heart now. At this very moment, if only he could rest his tattered, exhausted heart, a future sanctuary didn’t matter at all.

The elevator approached. His uncle entered the open wooden door and waited for Jeong Taeui. The moment he stepped inside and came out again, Jeong Taeui would have to say goodbye to Jeong Taeui. He hesitated for a moment at the door. His uncle waited silently. But what was there to hesitate about now? There was nothing to hold him back.

Jeong Taeui quietly raised his hand and patted his chest. As if to soothe his tired heart. And to stay somewhere else, he took a step.

End of Volume 3. Continues in Volume 4.